I’ve travelled quite a lot over the last 6 years. Admittedly, I was pretty terrified when I first left England for an extensive amount of time at the age of 26 to dive head first into teaching English in South Korea. It wasn’t all sunshine and roses, but I did have an incredible time. However, I’m a true believer in “life is what you make of it”. I have also coined a new phrase whilst on my current round the world trip: “not all experiences have to be good”. I feel this is not only true for myself but for people of the world alike and especially backpackers/travellers.
I’m always astonished at how many people who travel are genuinely miserable doing it. I can’t help but feel sorry for them, with their grumpy faces and venomous tongues which ooze negativity at any given opportunity. “Why are you here?” I always want to ask them, but I fear that kind of question would tip them over the edge into a ball of frustration of which I would never hear the end of, therefore, normally, I just smile and nod and share my positive experiences with them to try and ease the mood. This doesn’t always work, as some people are just having THE worst time………
Ha! The worst time!? This for me is incomprehensible. All too often the phrase “first world problems” is passed around by people so fortunate in life that they might as well get it printed on a t-shirt or tattooed across their shiny botoxed forehead. However, at least these people realise that their problems are relatively trivial in the grand scheme of things. The “worst time backpacker” on the other hand seems to be so consumed with pessimism that they can’t even laugh at themselves. I think it has a lot to do with expectations. Your mates have travelled and they loved it, they tell you that you should go, as they had the most AMAZING time. What they probably missed out is that they drank so much alcohol and fornicated with so many people that they actually didn’t really travel much as they were either hung over in bed or going for sti tests in a dodgy Asian hospital! For some people, this is all they need to have life changing experiences and good for them. At least they’re having fun, doing what they want to do and no-one can take that away from them.
So, you’ve listened to your mates and bought a backpack. They had a mean time in Australia (or wherever) because the weather and the money over there is great. You head off into the sunset eagerly anticipating this filling the void of whatever your life was lacking, which made you want to travel in the first place. Boom! There it is right there! Going to a different country isn’t going to solve your problems, in fact, it’s probably going to make you feel more isolated, have less people to talk to, worry more about money and ultimately make you pretty hard to be around, isolating you more and the cycle continues.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure I’ve complained about being a buffet for mosquitoes a few times and the price of things in some countries being much higher than I anticipated, meaning I’ve had to skip a couple of meals in order to visit a sight I really wanted to see. Although, to me every day on the road is a massive Christmas present. It’s like opening a nicely wrapped box of adventure, only it came from a secret Santa so you never quite know how much you’re going to love it or possibly even hate it, but not all experiences have to be good remember! How would you quantify having an awesome time if you’d never had a crap one!? Sure, that tap water you drank or bad street food you ate made you best friends with unsanitary public toilets for a couple of days, but you’re still alive. Maybe you’d planned on snorkeling with manta rays only to arrive in Fiji and find manta season has ended, at least you’re still in Fiji with some of the clearest oceans on the word! You’d booked a private room with air con but when you check in there’s only a fan, at least you’ve got the luxury of a four walls, a roof and a relatively comfortable bed. Do you see where I’m going with this!? Don’t you realise how lucky you are to be able to complain about not having air con, or anything remotely the same!? You didn’t choose to be born into a wealthy enough country with good enough international relations that allow you to travel freely. That was luck but by God that’s some incredible fortune. You did however, choose to use your fortune and travel only to maybe find, it wasn’t/isn’t for you. That’s ok. It’s not for everyone, but if after 2 months/ 6 months/ a year you’re still not having fun, you’re still not making friends, you still think everywhere you’ve been is rubbish, maybe, just maybe it’s time to go home. I’m not saying give up at the first hurdle or even the tenth, but if nothing is making you stop and say “WOW” so loudly that people think you’re on the spectrum, travel just maybe isn’t your thing. People who are having an awesome time on their trip/ adventure don’t want to be dragged down by someone who they see being unappreciative of something they have worked so hard for or a place they love. Sure, lots of people have good hearts and will listen to an extent but like most clever people they know negativity is infectious and they won’t hang around the poison for long. Then you’re alone again, you might have made a couple of new Facebook friends, but they’ll never message you!
My advice to all you negative travellers out there is:
Don’t spend your time away glued to social media. Your travel experiences shouldn’t be dictated by how many likes you get on a Facebook/instagram photo. Realistically, no one really cares that much what’s posted in virtual reality so neither should you. Sure, post your pictures and use it as a tool to keep in touch with friends back home and people you meet along the way but don’t spend every time you’re in a free WiFi zone on your phone. Look around you, speak to people, you’ll easily have way more fun!
Wake up every day and think about how lucky you are that you’re not sat on a bus in the pouring rain on your way to a job you hate.
Do the things that YOU want to do. Not what your guide book tells you, not what the people in the hostel are doing, what you feel like. If that’s staying in bed and watching Netflix, so be it. It’s your adventure and everyone is allowed downtime.
Try something that’s completely out of your comfort zone. You might just love it. I’ve eaten live octopus in Korea, bungee jumped in New Zealand and learnt to scuba dive in Thailand. All of which I would never have guessed I would ever do, but no matter how terrifying at first, they were actually all incredibly satisfying experiences.
BE POSITIVE! Like negativity can spread, so can positivity. It might be difficult if you’re having a hard time to try and gain the energy to be upbeat, but trust me, people are drawn to good vibes. Wherever I go I smile when I walk in, to whoever might be looking, someone, somewhere will see it and we’ll more often than not have a conversation. Not all conversations are incredibly riveting stories of paths less wandered but if you put in the time you’ll meet some incredible people with their own tales to tell.
Finally, and this is my favourite. I use a quote from an American author called Kurt Vonnegut.
“One of the things Uncle Alex found objectionable about human beings was that they so rarely noticed it when they were happy. He himself did his best to acknowledge it when times were sweet. We could be drinking lemonade in the shade of an apple tree in the summertime, and Uncle Alex would interrupt the conversation to say, “If this isn’t nice, what is?” So I hope that you will do the same for the rest of your lives. When things are going sweetly and peacefully, please pause a moment, and then say out loud, “If this isn’t nice, what is?””
And if all of those things fail you, well, at least you’ve tried the whole travelling thing and there’s no shame at all in going home, wherever home may be!
vanjangles 